The phrase “Stop crossing oceans for someone who won’t jump a puddle for you” is often attributed to the American author, blogger, and motivational speaker, Adam Smith. However, the origin of the phrase is not clear, and it has been around for a long time. The phrase is a metaphor that means you should not go out of your way for someone who wouldn’t do the same for you. It’s about reciprocity and mutual respect in relationships.
What Does the Phrase Mean?
The phrase means that you should not put in more effort than the other person in a relationship. It’s about balance and equality. If you’re always going out of your way to please someone who doesn’t appreciate it or reciprocate, you’re crossing oceans for them. It’s like you’re giving them your all, but they’re not even willing to jump a small puddle for you. It’s a one-sided, toxic relationship that can drain you emotionally and mentally.
The Importance of Self-Love and Boundaries
One of the reasons why people cross oceans for others is because they lack self-love and boundaries. They believe that if they do everything for someone, that person will love them back. However, this is not how love works. Love is about mutual respect, trust, and admiration. If you don’t love yourself, you’ll never be able to love someone else fully. You’ll always feel like you’re not enough, and you’ll keep trying to please them to win their affection.
Setting boundaries is crucial in any relationship. It’s about knowing your worth and what you’re willing to accept. When you set boundaries, you’re telling the other person that you respect yourself and that you won’t tolerate any disrespect. It’s not about being selfish or rude; it’s about being assertive and confident.
Signs You’re Crossing Oceans for Someone Who Won’t Jump a Puddle
Here are some signs that indicate you’re crossing oceans for someone who won’t jump a puddle for you:
- You’re always the one initiating contact or making plans.
- You’re always the one compromising or sacrificing your needs for theirs.
- You feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them.
- They don’t appreciate your efforts or take you for granted.
- They’re always too busy or too tired to spend time with you.
- You feel like you’re the only one invested in the relationship.
Why Do People Cross Oceans for Others?
There are many reasons why people cross oceans for others. Some do it because they believe it will make the other person love them more. Others do it because they’re afraid of being alone or losing the other person. Some people do it because they have low self-esteem and believe that they’re not worthy of love and respect. Whatever the reason may be, crossing oceans for someone who won’t jump a puddle is never healthy or sustainable.
The Dangers of Crossing Oceans for Others
When you cross oceans for someone who won’t jump a puddle, you’re putting their needs above yours. You’re neglecting your own needs and desires, which can lead to resentment, anger, and depression. You’re also enabling their behavior and reinforcing the idea that it’s okay to take you for granted. This kind of behavior can lead to a toxic, one-sided relationship that can be difficult to break free from.
How to Stop Crossing Oceans for Someone Who Won’t Jump a Puddle
Stopping yourself from crossing oceans for someone who won’t jump a puddle is not an easy task, but it’s necessary for your well-being. Here are some tips on how to do so:
Learning to Love Yourself First
To stop crossing oceans for someone who won’t jump a puddle, you need to start by loving yourself first. You need to believe that you’re worthy of love, respect, and happiness. You need to set boundaries and stick to them. You need to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. You need to do things that make you happy and fulfilled, regardless of what others may think.
When to Let Go of Relationships
Sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself is to let go of toxic relationships. If you’ve tried everything to make the relationship work, but the other person is not willing to reciprocate, it may be time to move on. Letting go doesn’t mean you’re weak or that you’ve failed. It means you’re strong enough to prioritize your own well-being.
Conclusion: Moving Forward with Self-Love
In conclusion, the phrase “Stop crossing oceans for someone who won’t jump a puddle for you” is a powerful reminder to prioritize your own well-being in relationships. It’s about finding balance, setting boundaries, and loving yourself first. If you’re always crossing oceans for others, you’re neglecting your own needs and desires, which can lead to a toxic, one-sided relationship. Remember that you’re worthy of love, respect, and happiness, and don’t settle for anything less.
Marquita Scott is a passionate advocate of mindfulness and its benefits for mental health. She has been practicing mindfulness for several years and has experienced firsthand the positive impact it can have on emotional wellbeing.